GUM & ARMPITS DON'T MIX !
Bubbles is a great mom, but she wasn't always. A mom, I mean. She used to be a prepubescent kid...a larger busted one than the rest of us, but a kid all the same.
The beginning of a girl's blossoming womanhood includes hairgrowth in new areas, such as in the armpits. Our mother wouldn't let us near razors for fear we would cut ourselves and bleed to death, or perhaps sever a limb, so pit hair grew freely. Granted, at 13 years of age most of us don't walk around hauling bushes under our arms, but there's enough there to cause some trouble. You wouldn't think a person could have an armpit accident, but Bubbles managed.
My sister was quite a gum chewer....the more pieces of Bazooka she could stuff in her mouth at one time, the better. More gum, more and bigger bubbles...simple (and hence her nickname).
One night Bubbles was having trouble sleeping. Since she wasn't tired, she didn't bother to remove the wad of gum the size of a softball from her mouth when she laid down. Mom always made us stay in bed whether we were sleepy or not, so I guess sis figured she'd just lay there and blow giant pink orbs to amuse herself.
Despite her claims that sleep would never arrive, at some point in time it did come to Bubbles. She had dozed off with her arm slung up on her pillow. Since she was laying on her back, it was only natural that her head would relax against her arm....when a person is relaxed, their mouth goes slack....when their mouth goes slack, their gum slides out of their mouth....when their head is against the underside of their arm and their gum slips out, (you guessed it) it falls right into their armpit hair!
Now, most people move at times while sleeping and Bubbles is no exception. Sometime during her slumber she brought her arm down off the pillow. The gum was now pressed nicely into the hair - first problem. Then she rolled over onto her side, which coincidently was the same side that was protectively warming the now hairy gum.
When she awoke, Bubbles tried to move her arm and found something didn't feel right, and it hurt to try and raise her arm....she was very distressed and started calling mom at the top of her lungs. Bubbles was too afraid to look or touch her armpit to see what was causing the trouble so she had no idea what had happened. She was so mad that she started crying when we laughed at her misfortune. I still laugh about it to this day, and I'm sure that by the time my sister is in an old folk's home, she'll be able to as well.
Sometimes she has no sense of humour.
Till next time, this is me signing off.
Bunny
The beginning of a girl's blossoming womanhood includes hairgrowth in new areas, such as in the armpits. Our mother wouldn't let us near razors for fear we would cut ourselves and bleed to death, or perhaps sever a limb, so pit hair grew freely. Granted, at 13 years of age most of us don't walk around hauling bushes under our arms, but there's enough there to cause some trouble. You wouldn't think a person could have an armpit accident, but Bubbles managed.
My sister was quite a gum chewer....the more pieces of Bazooka she could stuff in her mouth at one time, the better. More gum, more and bigger bubbles...simple (and hence her nickname).
One night Bubbles was having trouble sleeping. Since she wasn't tired, she didn't bother to remove the wad of gum the size of a softball from her mouth when she laid down. Mom always made us stay in bed whether we were sleepy or not, so I guess sis figured she'd just lay there and blow giant pink orbs to amuse herself.
Despite her claims that sleep would never arrive, at some point in time it did come to Bubbles. She had dozed off with her arm slung up on her pillow. Since she was laying on her back, it was only natural that her head would relax against her arm....when a person is relaxed, their mouth goes slack....when their mouth goes slack, their gum slides out of their mouth....when their head is against the underside of their arm and their gum slips out, (you guessed it) it falls right into their armpit hair!
Now, most people move at times while sleeping and Bubbles is no exception. Sometime during her slumber she brought her arm down off the pillow. The gum was now pressed nicely into the hair - first problem. Then she rolled over onto her side, which coincidently was the same side that was protectively warming the now hairy gum.
When she awoke, Bubbles tried to move her arm and found something didn't feel right, and it hurt to try and raise her arm....she was very distressed and started calling mom at the top of her lungs. Bubbles was too afraid to look or touch her armpit to see what was causing the trouble so she had no idea what had happened. She was so mad that she started crying when we laughed at her misfortune. I still laugh about it to this day, and I'm sure that by the time my sister is in an old folk's home, she'll be able to as well.
Sometimes she has no sense of humour.
Till next time, this is me signing off.
Bunny
posted by Bunny Magee at 10:48 PM
1 Comments:
Love ya Bubbles!!
Call me!!
George
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